Today, I am going to talk about lying and deception.
Lying, on one hand, refers to telling someone something that is not accurate. In this sense, it is either verbal or written. Deception, on the other hand, is much broader. It usually refers to causing someone to believe something false as the truth. But both can leave a path of destruction behind them.
I am going to begin my discussion with just 5 questions.
1. When was the last time someone lied to you?
2. How many times can you recall a close friend or partner who has lied to you?
3. Do you feel sad, disgusted or helpless when you are lied to continuously?
4. When somone lies to you, do you tell them this or do you just shrug it off?
5. Have relationships been ruined because of lies and deception?
The fact is, why do we often accept lies as been part of human nature? Why don’t we just address those people with their own lies? Many of us do not know how to recognise those signs of behaviour and often fall victim to all kinds of manipulation tactics and devious conduct.
I will briefly explain my background as to why I am doing this podcast today.
Introduction
My job as a psychologist and criminologist (profiling) often overlap each other. In fact both professions really are beneficial to understand your client, patient and generally speaking most people we come into contact with on a daily basis either privately or in business.
My profession entails making accurate decisions based on facts from criminal, military, police and psychological records etc. How often have I sat in front of prisoners and have been told „I am innocent and should not be sitting here“. How often have I had dealings with lawyers and doctors who could lie the „hind legs off a donkey!“ Then there were the soldiers wanting to end their services in one way or the other and try to convince us professionals that they had psychological disorders. Strangely enough PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) was one of the most common.
When it comes to pathological liars, it is observed that people who have an antisocial personality disorder (APD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) indulge in lying. A pathological liar is often goal-oriented (i.e., Very focused in order to get their way.). They are the most challenging of patient and client to expose! They often create a great amount of destruction in their paths.
The list is long and each one of us have had to deal with family, colleagues, bosses, friends etc. But in my profession it is important to read the verbal and non-verbal behaviour of our clients and patients as well as keep a clear conscious facing dilemmas of all kinds and also human tragedies that people are faced with and where deception is their only way out to feeding their families or survival against all odds.
The digital world has created unfortunately a breeding ground for deceptive practices. Social media platforms encourage this phenomenal development much to the detriment of mental health. We are social creatures wanting to be part of the big picture but at what price?
I have been asked several times if men are bigger liars than women. A study has found that men don’t just rank higher than women in terms of how often they lie – they also consider themselves better liars. This is according to researchers from the University of Portsmouth. Men were more than twice as likely to consider themselves expert liars who got away with it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26gaGbzrSEQ&t=7s
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