https://snltranscripts.jt.org/2021/chad-on-mars.phtml
Chad (Pete Davidson) is chosen to save the colonists at Elon Musk's Space X Mars habitat.
Elon Musk
Melissa Villaseñor
Chris Redd
Miley Cyrus
Mitchen… Mikey Day
Chad… Pete Davidson
[Starts with people having intense moment at Space-X headquarters]
Elon Musk: I came as soon as I could. What’s the situation at Mars?
Melissa: A solar storm. Biggest we’ve ever seen. It caused significant damage to the colony.
Chris: And the life support systems are down. They’re running out of air, sir.
[Cut to people at the Mars colony.]
Miley: The oxygen is dropping fast.
Elon Musk: There’s a back up O2 circulator outside of the habitat. One of them just needs to turn it on.
Melissa: The radiation levels outside are too high. It would be a suicide mission.
Mitchen: Sir, one of the colonist has volunteered. He’s on box now.
Elon Musk: So, there are still heroes in this world. Hello, who am I speaking to?
Chad: Chad!
Elon Musk: Chad, this is Elon Musk.
Chad: Who?
Elon Musk: Elon Musk. I’m in charge of the whole Mars colonization project.
Chad: Oh, congrats.
Elon Musk: Chad, I want to make sure that you understand you won’t survive this mission.
Chad: Okay.
Elon Musk: To save your fellow colonists, you have to make ultimate sacrifice.
Chad: Ha-ha, sack.
Mitchen: Chad, this is Mitchen with ground command. Make your way to the airlock and begin exit procedures.
Chad: Okay.
[Chad wears the suit and walks towards the exit door. Miley walks to him.]
Miley: Chad. Aren’t you gonna say goodbye?
Chad: Bye!
Miley: Chad, I’ll always cherish what we’ve had together.
Chad: Okay.
Miley: Oh god, I wish we could make love just one last time.
[Chad takes off his space suit]
Chad: Sick.
Miley: But we can’t.
Chad: It’s all good.
Miley: Chad, there’s something that you should know before you go. I’m pregnant.
Chad: Oh, congrats.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.