https://snltranscripts.jt.org/18/medical-breakthrough.phtml
Dr. Connolly… Chadwick Boseman
Dr. Karen Price… Aidy Bryant
Sandra Matson… Kate McKinnon
Dave Matson… Mikey Day
Heidi Gardner
Chris Redd
[Starts with Dr. Connolly and Dr. Karen Price at the podium speaking to the press. They’re both wearing aprons.]
Dr. Connolly: Thank you all for being here today. I’m Dr. Connolly, lead researcher for the fertility frontiers project. This is my brilliant supervisor Dr. Karen Price.
Dr. Karen Price: Hello.
Dr. Connolly: Nine months ago, we began working with a couple who had difficulty conceiving. But through a process, we created called ‘Paternal Embryonic Gestation’ and implanted artificial womb. Their dreams of pregnancy have come true. With one small difference. Please welcome Sandra Matson and her husband Dave Matson, history’s first pregnant man.
[Sandra and Dave walk in. Dave has pregnant belly.] [cheers and applause]
Mr. Matson, you just made history. Any comment?
Dave: Um, yeah. Anybody have olives and peanut butter? I’m having a really weird craving.
[The press laughs.]
In all seriousness, we feel so blessed that life found a way.
Sandra: Um-hmm. Now if we could only find a maternity store with a men’s section.
[everyone laughing]
Dr. Connolly: Now, we’ll open it up for questions. Yes.
Heidi: First, congratulations on this remarkable achievement. Dr. Connolly, how does the man give birth?
Dr. Connolly: Well, the plan has always been a scheduled C-section.
Dave: Two weeks from today.
Dr. Connolly: But the plan has changed.
Dave: It has?
Dr. Connolly: My team and I now believe that due to the fragility of the artificial womb, the baby must be delivered naturally through Mr. Watson’s urethra.
Dave: What?
Dr. Connolly: Who else has a question?
Dave: I do.
Dr. Connolly: Yes, you sir.
Chris: Hello, there. Just to be clear, the baby will come out of this man’s, um, now I’m sure there’s a classy way to say this but I’m going with pee hole?
Dr. Connolly: Yes. The elasticity of the skin and tissue in that area will stretch to accommodate the birth… hopefully.
Dave: Hopefully?
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