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Man's best friend? A better companion than a husband?

You may think that your beloved little pet has your best interests in mind, but you'd be wrong.

Your pets are secretly plotting your demise over a very long period of time, like the government of China.

They are just waiting to take over, because lets face it, they want to rule the kingdom just as much as you do.

So slip into your snake-skin boots, or your alligator slippers. Put on your leather gloves. Wrap your hamster-belt around that waist. Snap your rat-tail suspenders. Tip your raccoon hat. Squeeze into that fox-fur turtle-neck, and just get ready for this wild ride.

You're going to think twice about that puppy of yours.

(links for sources)

  1. ⁠https://www.reddit.com/r/DarwinAwards/comments/10uamfn/in_russia_an_aggressive_owner_punched_a_camel_in/⁠(camel)
  2. ⁠https://www.the-sun.com/news/7210254/worlds-worst-camel-attacks-bite-head-off-trample-death/⁠   (chimp)
  3. TRAVIS CHIMP 911 CALL  ⁠https://www.reddit.com/r/Frisson/comments/9juh1d/video_travis_the_chimp_911_call_nsfw/⁠
  4. ⁠https://allthatsinteresting.com/pets-that-killed-their-owners      (pigs)⁠
  5. ⁠https://www.grunge.com/109715/terrifying-stories-people-killed-pets/⁠    (Rushton/deer)
  6. ⁠https://www.cbsnews.com/news/bad-news-bear-tragedy-kelly-ann-walz-killed-by-pet-bear-in-ross-township-pa/⁠(black bear)
  7. ⁠https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11757591/Father-killed-chicken-Man-massive-bleeding-attacked-Ireland-home.html⁠   (chicken)
  8. ⁠https://www.asianage.com/life/more-features/120817/heres-a-list-of-pets-who-killed-their-owners.html (general source)⁠
  9. ⁠https://www.anissas.com/camel-hump-the-ultimate-delicacy/⁠(cooking camel hump)

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