"Good evening, Ma'am. I'm calling you today with a tremendous real estate opportunity! You see, I have recently purchased a large parcel of land outside of town, and I'm looking for investors to get in on the ground floor of this venture while they still can! We're planning on constructing some very luxurious, high-end, beachfront condominiums, right along the shore, and- pardon? 'What shore? We live in Denver, you moron?' Well sure, there's no beachfront right now... But just give it a few millennia, and the return-on-investment is gonna be enormous!! ...Hello? Ma'am..?"
Outro: By Aiden Hamilton
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