We’re back for UFC 313, a card filled with aging legends, unproven prospects, and all the chaos you’d expect. I’ve got spicy takes, wild picks, and enough nonsense to get you banned from MMA Twitter.
UFC News & Gossip
Cain Velasquez convicted!
UFC x Meta teaming up to "fix" rankings.
McGregor is running for Irish president.
Aaron Pico finally joins the UFC.
Merab vs. Suga official for UFC 316. Strap in.
Peña vs. Kayla Harrison as the co-main. Genuine banger booking.
Early Prelims
Nora Cornolle vs. Hailey Cowan
Pick: Cornolle @ $1.57
Tresean Gore vs. Marco Tulio
Pick: Tulio @ $1.28
Sumudaerji vs. Mitch Raposo
Pick: Raposo @ $2.57
Sedriques Dumas vs. Michał Oleksiejczuk
Pick: Dumas @ $2.61
Prelims
Darren Elkins vs. Julian Erosa – Two grizzled vets. Bit of a coin toss but Elkins @ $4.00 is tasty if you're brave.
Pick: Elkins (Risky)
Chase Hooper vs. Jim Miller – Hooper’s stacking up vets. But Jim Miller is Jim Miller.
Pick: Miller @ $6.05 (Also risky, but c’mon)
Virna Jandiroba vs. Xiaonan Yan
Pick: Yan @ $2.17
Dan Ige vs. Sean Woodson – Woodson is 13-1, solid everywhere.
Pick: Woodson @ $1.59
Main Card
Nikita Krylov vs. Dominick Reyes
Pick: Krylov @ $1.54
Bryce Mitchell vs. Jean Silva – Silva’s dangerous, but Mitchell has the résumé: Ige, Barboza, Gracie.
Pick: Mitchell @ $3.20
Yair Rodriguez vs. Patricio Pitbull – Must-win for Yair. Pitbull’s fought everyone and their cousin.
Pick: Pitbull @ $2.59
Michael Chandler vs. Paddy Pimblett – Chandler’s washed? Maybe. But he hits like a truck.
Pick: Chandler @ $2.25
Alexander Volkanovski vs. Diego Lopes – Volk’s 36, coming off two KOs, and the stats say no one that old wins at 145 or lower… but it’s still Volk.
Pick: Volkanovski @ $1.83
Alt Pick: Fight to go the distance @ $2.30
Guaranteed Picks
🔒 Mitch Raposo @ $2.57
🔒 Main Event to go the distance @ $2.30
🎰 Hail Mary Good Guy Vet Multi – Volk x Chandler x Pitbull x Miller @ $64.51
Shows This Week
🎥 New vlog up on Jimmy Missen YouTube. Two more on the way.
🎤 Newcastle Comedy Club – Fri 11th & Sat 12th
🎤 Sunny’s at Margate – Sat 26th
🎤 Moree – May 2
🎤 Dubbo – May 3
Send your picks or yarns via DM or email: cantgetanyworsepod@gmail.com
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