In everyday life, there often seems to be some sense of control, agency, or choice—and sometimes, not at all. Whether or not control actually exists is a larger philosophical question. But when it comes to meditation practice, particularly mindfulness of breathing, the perception of control can feel very real. That’s what this reflection is about.
Meditation often begins with short morning sessions or simple reflections—such as noticing where the breath can be felt. From there, adjustments are sometimes made to help make the experience more conducive to practice, aiming to settle into something more pleasant or comfortable.
One commonly used area is the spot around the nose. What I’ve noticed is that this area is particularly helpful when allowing the breath to be natural. Sometimes, simply returning attention to that spot is enough to let go of the urge to control the breath. Other times, it’s not so easy—sometimes the very act of paying attention seems to amplify the desire to control it.
Still, focusing on the breath at a specific location like the nose can offer a kind of anchor—a stability. It allows the background struggle of control versus non-control to soften. The mind can disengage from the internal tug of war and simply rest in the experience of the breath as it is, at that spot.
Of course, there may still be subtle tendencies toward control—holding the breath longer, pausing at the end of an inhale or exhale, or adjusting the speed or force of the breath. These aren’t necessarily tied to the location of attention, but having a clear point of focus can reduce their grip. The breath becomes something to observe, not manipulate.
When the location is settled and simple, and there’s little room for active control, that alone can help dissolve the internal push-pull dynamic. One element of the struggle falls away, and space opens up for something else to come to the forefront—something quieter, more receptive.
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