In this episode of Your Youth Mentor, I dive into Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)—a term that often comes up in conversations with parents and teens. PDA is sometimes referred to as a pervasive drive for autonomy, highlighting the need for control and independence. While the technical term can sound complex, I break it down in a way that makes it easier to understand and apply in everyday parenting.
What Is Covered in This Episode:
- Demand Avoidance & Teen/Tween Dynamics – Why simple requests, like stacking the dishwasher, can trigger defensive responses in teenagers.
- Understanding PDA – How the brain interprets demands as a loss of autonomy, leading to strong pushback—especially in neurodivergent teens.
- Teen Challenges: Strategies for Success – How adjusting your language, approach, and expectations can create a smoother dynamic at home.
- Daily Challenges & Seeking Support – Signs that PDA might be playing a role in your teen’s behavior and where to look for more information.
- Cultivating Family Harmony – Practical ways to reduce tension, foster connection, and support your teen while maintaining a balanced household.
- Neurodivergent Responses to Pressure – Why humor, distraction, and negotiation aren’t manipulation but rather creative self-protection strategies.
- Parenting Teens with PDA: Understanding Over Control – Why traditional, compliance-based parenting methods often fail and how curiosity, co-regulation, and collaboration can make all the difference.
- Improving Teen Communication – Simple shifts in phrasing that encourage cooperation and autonomy without triggering resistance.
Important Note: I am not a medical professional, and everything shared in this episode comes from lived experience, research, and study. This is not medical advice but a resource to help parents better understand their teens.
Tune in to learn how to support your teen with understanding, flexibility, and curiosity first—not control.
Chat soon!
Mel
mel@melwhiteparentcoach.com
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