The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by Sky Sports and BBC Radio 5 Live presenter Kelly Cates for another edition of of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.
Among Kelly's nominations are the visual spectacle of pyro on a European night, the smell of Deep Heat, the acute joy of an undeserved win and football fans using players' nicknames as if they're best friends.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel get to the bottom of Hector Bellerin's foul-throw habit, a glorious example of the Commentator's Curse and Steven Gerrard's new twist on "treating every game like a cup final".
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