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California has officially lost its mind. The trees smell like vomit, the squirrels are decapitating rodents, and Gavin Newsom looks like he moisturizes with the souls of small business owners.

Austin dives deep into this week’s apocalyptic headlines — from carnivorous squirrels to a Mexican mayor’s tragic stand against the cartels — all while reflecting on the eternal struggle between self-control and seasonal pie. There’s wisdom, chaos, and way too much talk about nipples. Welcome to November.


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