So today in episode four, I talk about life on tour. And, you know, nothing says ‘rock and roll’ quite like… an assassination attempt on Charlie Kirk. I cover that, then dive into NATO — because apparently Europe’s been left home alone. The US has basically kicked us out of the flat, like, ‘good luck paying rent, kids.’ So now it’s Europe: now or never. Spoiler: probably never.
Then, somehow, my TikTok goes viral and I get invited to a tech conference in Bergen. Nothing screams ‘thought leader’ like being flown out for a 30-second video about how broken Norway’s bureaucracy is. Honestly, Norwegian paperwork makes IKEA instructions look like haikus.
And of course, my love life: I was broken up with by a Dutch guy on Tinder after three messages. Three. I didn’t even know that was long enough to qualify as a relationship. The arrogance! Imagine ghosting me like I’m a parking ticket.
So yeah: assassination, NATO, bureaucracy, heartbreak — truly the European tour experience. Oh, and did I mention NATO? Yeah. NATO!
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