Rob sits down with longtime coach and mentor Dean Jaderston to unpack the transitions that shaped his career—from Minnesota high schools to college men’s hoops, and eventually to leading women at Friends University. Dean lays out a clear contrast between coaching men and women, why the collective psyche matters on women’s teams, how to move from managing to leading, and what it takes to stay steady in a public, always-on era. Faith, patience, and the willingness to play the long game thread through the whole conversation.
Key Themes
- Transitions that grow you: High school → college; men → women; what Dean “didn’t know he didn’t know” about recruiting and preparation.
- Coachability & confidence: With men, puncturing overconfidence; with women, raising ceilings and naming their potential.
- The collective effect: Public praise/critique lands differently on women’s teams—use “we/us” language and handle most individual feedback 1:1.
- Lead, don’t just manage: Dean’s “one big rule”—you either bless people or curse people; hold to that and cut the bloated rulebook.
- Faith as framework: Total-release effort as worship; coach the whole person—spiritually, emotionally, psychologically.
- Reality of the job: Life and coaching are messy; don’t overreact, don’t take it personally, watch actions over words, and keep vision front and center.
- Listening builds buy-in: Seek first to understand; today’s athletes spot inauthenticity fast.
- Vision sustains: The Hartman Arena story—nobody believed it early; vision made the work coherent.
Notable Moments
- 00:15 – Why Rob almost changed jobs just to learn from Dean
- 01:36 – High school → college: “I didn’t know what I didn’t know” (recruiting, prep)
- 06:00 – When talent stalls: the cost of being uncoachable
- 06:33 – Men vs. women: confidence gaps and ceilings
- 08:52 – Language shift: use “we/us”; keep praise/critique mostly individual
- 10:49 – Why schemes/X&O often matter more in the women’s game
- 11:58 – Teaching bug: chasing light-bulb moments and durable confidence
- 14:35 – Faith, “audience of One,” and coaching the whole person
- 20:17 – Coaching in the information age: echo chambers and public scrutiny
- 21:18 – From rules to leadership: Dean’s single standard (“bless vs. curse”)
- 23:13 – Adapt the system to the roster you actually have
- 24:04 – Listening as strategy for buy-in
- 26:00 – Hope and vision: conditioning with the end in mind
- 30:26 – Don’t take it personal; judge actions over words
- 31:02 – Playing the long game when your job feels year-to-year
- 33:44 – Embrace the mess; prepare for age-appropriate, inappropriate moments
- 35:25 – Rapid fire: books, failures, definitions of success, habits
Rapid-Fire References
- Books mentioned: Coach K’s leadership book (annual reread); Frosty Westering’s Make the Big Time Where You Are (ethos: maximize what you have, where you are).
- Podcast: Better Questions by Matt Davis.
- Definition of success: Help people see and seize their potential—spiritually, academically, emotionally, athletically.
Practical Takeaways
- Shrink the rulebook. Hold a single, culture-defining standard and enforce it consistently.
- Reframe confidence. With men, calibrate realism; with women, remove ceilings.
- Mind the locker room dynamics. Public praise/critique has second-order effects on women’s teams—coach individuals individually.
- Lead with listening. Credibility follows curiosity and presence.
- Keep vision visible. Name the destination daily so effort has context.
- Don’t chase validation. If behavior changes, let that be the win.
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