Today's episode of Messy Middlescence is with our youngest brother, Tom Conti. Tom is a gifted athlete, excellent student (majoring in computer science and math), devoted father, husband and friend, as well as super successful in his business endeavors. He is also thoughtful, down-to-earth and fun to be around. In a previous episode titled “taking the leap”, we interviewed Tom’s wife, Anne Mielke Conti, who had recently left her job to spend more time with their kids. We get to hear how Anne’s big leap has affected their lives. Tom as an unusual combination in today’s world – someone who is extremely successful and ambitious in his career but equally successful and ambitious with his family and work-life balance. While there is a great deal of “lip service” paid to work-life balance, Tom is committed to living these values. He and Anne are excellent examples of living intentionally and crafting a life on their own terms.
Highlights from this episode include:
- What is Tom and Anne’s primary focus?
- Tom’s excellent advice on setting boundaries with work. He tries hard to be a good role model and not do email or calls on the weekend or in the evenings.
- How much easier it is to make a desired change, like setting a new boundary when you are starting a new role or at a new company.
- Tom is where he had hoped to be in his mid 40s.
- How most of his worries about the future are about or for his kids.
- How things have been since Anne changed her job – meeting or exceeding expectations
- How intentional and thoughtful Tom is around wanting to maximize his life – what do they value and how and where do they want to spend their time? They are very family focused.
- Tom wonders if he has overly high expectations from his job. He wants his job to feel fulfilling.
- The difference between success and fulfillment for Tom.
- His desire for a “reset” like Anne is taking now.
- His desire and hopes to set himself up to work differently in 5-10 years with more flexibility and hopefully part time.
- Although Tom said he doesn’t think about legacy that much, he does think about being a good role model for his kids and how he hopes they will think about life. He wants to spend time with his children so they “feel the love.”
- Tom thinks youth sports are important to learn discipline, responsibility, and the value of hard work.
- The highlight of the interview is at the end when Tom answer’s the one question he thought we would ask and we didn’t (although we will start asking this question in the future!) “What would Tom do if he did not have to work?” Tom has a surprising and unique answer that I am glad to now know and would never have guess in a million years.
