Today on Messy Middlescence, we talk with Amy Harkness who shares her experience as a medical librarian and mother of four children. Amy discusses her health struggles during middlescence and the frustration of not being taken seriously by doctors. She questions how much of her changing body is due to normal aging and how much is a sign of an underlying issue. Amy also reflects on the impact of menopause and the unexpected symptoms she has encountered post menopause. She talks about her journey in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and the challenges she faces in balancing exercise and self-care. Despite the difficulties, Amy remains optimistic and emphasizes the importance of finding joy and fulfillment in this stage of life.
Some of the highlights from this episode are:
- The term "happy social work" to describe the work Amy does and wants to do.
- Amy likes her job because it is not very stressful and therefore leaves her the ability and emotional resources to take care of her family and household.
- Amy does not think of herself as the age she is. She thinks of herself as younger and that can be hard because her body cannot do what she expects it to do.
- She hopes to retire in about five years when her youngest child will graduate from high school.
- Her health issues are affecting her happiness.
- The hardest time of her life was after her divorce with a 1-year-old and trying to figure out what she wanted to do.
- In 2019 she started having heart palpitations. She thinks they may have been related to menopause. She had different physical issues that no one could explain. No one mentioned menopause.
- How no one seems to talk about post menopause.
- She is exercising less and is not able to do what she used to do. She is trying to figure out if it is normal aging or is there some other issue(s) going on.
- She started exercising regularly again around age 50. She loved doing Crossfit with some of her neighbors and then started swimming competitively and running.
- What is most important to her and her legacy is focusing on her children and making sure they have what they need.
- How hormone replacement got a bad rap.
- She knows she wants to be more involved in her next phase. She is looking forward to having the freedom to do what they want and travel where they want.
- We loved the advice she would give to her younger self - to loosen up, go with the flow, don't sweat the small stuff and live a little more. Great advice for most of us!
