IMAGE CREDIT: General Mills’ Blog
Startling revelations today on the show concerning Batman. I’m not talking about Ben Affleck being cast in the role though. Clearly that’s out in the open and the web doesn’t like it. The revelations on our show come from Dennis, and might be considered by some to be blasphemy! Dennis didn’t really like Christian Bale’s Batman or Bruce Wayne. That’s the first one. The other revelation is that he puts Bale’s Batsy on par with Val Kilmer’s. I think we can all agree George Clooney was the worst. Adam West was the first. And in Dennis’ opinion, Michael Keaton owned the Bruce Wayne role. And his Batman wasn’t too bad either. Now it’s up to Benny boy. I think it’s safe to say no matter what he does with the character, not everyone will like it. He’s got his work cut out for him. With such a polarizing response to the news of his casting, this can only go two ways. He’ll bomb miserably, or he’ll surprise the shit out of us all a la Heath Ledger. There is no middle ground on this one. We’ll find out in 2015 if Affleck’s acting chops are up to the bat-task.
Speaking of acting and superheroes… there’s a new movie coming out on DVD this week that’s based on a 1940s comic called CAPTAIN BATTLE. If you look at the Golden Age Comics character you’ll notice an immediate stars and stripes-themed resemblance to another patriotic hero from Marvel Comics. But it doesn’t end there. The villain, dressed in a Nazi uniform, also has a red face. Sound familiar? The way Jonathan Battle becomes Captain Battle is quite similar to that other patriotic fellow of the same rank. Captain Battle is a blatant ripoff of Captain America. America came out a few months before Battle did back in the 40s. Are we missing something or were copyright laws back then different than today? Golden Age would get its ass sued instantly in this day and age. According to the reviews of this CAPTAIN BATTLE: LEGACY WARS movie, it’s not even worth pirating. Just look at the porn-like poster art, the Halloween superstore quality costume and if you dare, the trailer on YouTube. Bad camera work, cheap effects and awful acting are just a few things this movie battles. According to one IMDb user, the movie’s rating is lower than Paris Hilton’s THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE. Whew… that’s bad. Which leads us to read a review of THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE. Don’t miss that one either!
Steve Jobs continues to roll in his iGrave as his company becomes less innovative and more pandering. There’s rumors that a gold-colored iPhone 5S is on the way. There’s even “leaked” pictures of it circulating online. This leads to a couple of questions. Do we need a gold/champaign iPhone? No, we do not. And why are there so many leaks of Apple news and products these days? Everyone who listens to our show knows I hate Steve Jobs. The guy was a complete piece of shit. But, he ran a tight ship. He created a mystique around his company which, in turn, was its own free form of marketing. Anyone caught leaking product images and news like they do today would’ve been beheaded GAME OF THRONES-style. What’s with Apple these days? We contemplate this and the rumor of a new ‘budget’ iPhone too.
We’re back on the subject of cereal again. Now I know you’re probably thinking,
oh god, here they go again, but this time its less reminiscing — to the relief of Charlie — and more a discussion of how cereal prizes have changed over time and how kids these days are not easy to please. We fill our bowl with this on the news that General Mills is returning two classic monster cereals to store shelves just in time for Halloween. Joining Count Chocula, Boo Berry and Frankenberry are their short lived pals from the 70s and 80s, Fruit Brute (now spelled Frute Brute) and Fruity Yummy Mummy. The latter of which replaced the Brute in 1982. The cartoon ghouls have gotten a Pixar-like facelift on their respective boxes and we’re certain the sugar content as at its usual all-time high. Expect all five varieties in stores within a few weeks.
It’s not just the kids getting all fat and lethargic off of the foods they cram in their pie holes… it’s sports fans too! We all like to eat during the big game, but it turns out fans of NFL teams who lose are more likely to eat a little more the following day. A recent study also found that in cities more football-crazed the amount of calories and fat consumed after a big loss is even higher! So next time you put on your favorite jersey and it fits a little tighter around your midsection, you may wanna take a look at your team’s season record.
And lastly, the botched Jesus Christ fresco in Spain is back in the news! I’m waiting for a story about some elaborate art heist in which the painting is pilfered and sold in some underground market for millions. But alas, instead we have to settle for news that a merchandising agreement has been met with the botcher herself. The town plans to put the monkey man on plates and mugs and even cigarette lighters. Cecilia Gimenez will get a nearly 50% cut of all the money made. Apparently, the fucked up fresco has been quite the tourist attraction and the town wants to take advantage of it. And according to the town council, the proceeds will go to good causes. No word on what Gimenez will do with her share. She could buy a year supply of Frute Brute. Who knows if they’ll bring it back again next year.
SHOW LINKS:
Ben Affleck on IMDb
Zack Snyder on IMDb
Change.org: Warner Brothers: Remove Ben Affleck as Batman/Bruce Wayne…
“Captain Battle: Legacy War” on IMDb
Golden iPhone on Japanese Tech Site
AppAdvice.com: Exclusive: High Resolution Photos Of Rumored Gold iPhone 5S
Taste of General Mills: The return of two General Mills monsters
IMAGE CREDIT: General Mills’ Blog
“Captain Battle: Legacy War
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Heard In This Week’s Open:
Boiler Room
New DVD Releases for Tuesday, August 27th:
Sons of Anarchy (Season 5)
The Walking Dead (Season 3)
Grey’s Anatomy (Season 9)
Pain & Gain
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
Best of Warner Bros. 25 Cartoon Collection: DC Comics
Lost Medallion
Iceberg Slim: Portrait of a Pimp
Call Me Fitz (Season 3)
Captain Battle: Legacy War
