There are numerous times within my journey where I have had to part ways with older versions of myself. This most recent one has felt very profound. The levels of growth I have gone through have left me diving into some really deep programming and patterns and releasing parts of myself that were still stuck in survival mode. That was born out of necessity, but that is no longer the frequency I want to operate from.
Moving forward, I wanted to free my Self of all of it. I could feel the grief rising as I shed these layers, and I felt called to break up with them ... to finally release them.
Call this a ritual, cord cutting or whatever, I felt I wanted to send this part of me a love letter.
This resembles the Hoʻoponopono practice with one addition ... a final release.
Dear Older Versions of me,
It is not you it is me!
I have to make my way on my own now, and you cannot be a part of the path ahead. I want you to know that I am deeply grateful for all that you have done, for the times you were brave when you wanted to fall. For the wounds you faced when all you wanted to do was run. To all the times you pushed yourself to face the darkness when you felt trapped and all alone. Thank you for hanging on when you felt that you had nothing left but continued, and for all the times you searched into the future for some sort of relief. You can rest now. I am forever grateful!
I, also want to ask you for forgiveness, for all the times I judged you. Not recognizing that what you were going through was not easy, and for all the times I cursed you for not being able to let go and move out of your comfort zone. I see now that you were, in every moment, trying to survive, trying to do the best you could do. And believe me, you have done the best you could do, I see that now! I apologize for not being more patient with you as you scaled mountains, few would even look at facing, and you went to depths only the bravest dare to tread. I understand now why you were so frightened, why you made some of the choices you made. I respect and honour that part of you that never gave u,p no matter how much it hurt, and how scared you were, you kept moving forward.
I am sorry I pushed you so hard and did not give you the love and grace that you deserved. I am so proud of you, and I am in awe of what you have done. Although I will always carry you in my heart, it is time for us to part ways now. I cannot allow you to come forward on this journey.
With deepest gratitude and respect, I thank you for all you have done. It is time for you to rest, you are safe now! You have fought your battles and faced your monsters. It is time for you to relax. I will carry the torch from now on!
Much Love
Tara
