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“You are not obligated to forgive someone who has offered neither apology nor repair.” This opinion is one both April and Tracie have received at different points in their lives, and which is surfacing now as we approach the high holy days. And though we both needed to hear that message when it was delivered, we’re also realizing that it is not the end of the story. The longing for healing and wholeness after hurt has us looking for a third way–a path toward teshuvah, or return, and wholeness, shalem/sh’lemut–even in the absence of apology. 

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Find April and Tracie's full bios and submit topic suggestions for the show at www.JewsTalkRacialJustice.com

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Learn more about Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu’s work, The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-book-of-forgiving-desmond-tutumpho-tutu?variant=32122225983522

Read about the Japanese art of kintsugi, “golden joinery”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi

Tara Brach relays the story of the Golden Buddha in her work Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN: https://www.tarabrach.com/books/radical-compassion/April and Tracie talked about the Golden Buddha in our first-ever Rosh Hashanah episode, Ep 2: Rosh Hashanah, Prince, and Visions, Both Big and Small: https://jewstalkracialjustice.buzzsprout.com/1146023/5430970-ep-2-rosh-hashanah-prince-and-vi

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Discussion and reflection questions:

  1. What in this episode is new for you? What have you learned and how does it land?
  2. What is resonating? What is sticking with you and why?
  3. What, if anything feels hard? What is challenging or on the edge for you?
  4. If relevant. what feelings and sensations are arising as you reflect on themes from this episode, and where in your body do you feel them?
  5. What key insights or strategies are you carrying forward and how do you want to weave them into your living and/or leadership?