Erin and Brennan are told that the journey through the Green Wood is fair sailing so long as they follow the path, but find that thanks to bad exposition, cringe romance, and overused tropes, they are not in the Green Wood, but IN MIRKWOOD AND THE PATH WAS LOST LONG AGO!!!! The Company of the Siblings trudges through the Desolation of Smaug with more than a few things to quarrel about. We discuss the use of Go Pro footage in fantasy film, the need for original strong female characters, and Smaug is a dangerous magpie! All the Stephans descend on Lake Town with Stephen Fry taking the reins as Master of Esgaroth, and Stephan Colbert finally living the dream, even if it is in Lake Town. Ultimately we ask the real questions like: has Peter Jackson been eating the same carrot for 100 years, and when Galadriel mental phones you, is there a ringtone? Either way, Luke Evans is a hunk. Done.