This is our NEWSa. There are many others like it, but this one is ours. Expect some pretty unwholesome stories this week... enjoy!
Woman lies about cancer to avoid jail gets triple amount of time
AI writes a paper about itself
Cat loose in airport for 3 weeks
Clooney Batman costume up for auction
Man claims bigfoot made him kill friend
Man lights firework on head, shoots skull
Man speeds away from landslide
Woman poops herself during fight
Man wipes butt with toilet cleaner
Woman get arrow through eyelid
Woman gets eyes tattooed, temporarily goes blind
Woman climbs in drive thru to make her own food
Man gets stuck in pizza oven exhaust
Boat thief caught on stolen lawnmower
