We have a fascinating strategy to bypass uncomfortable situations. It can happen without even consciously noticing. While the brain function is to protect us, it actually serves as the opposite in relational dynamics. Dissociation happens when we don’t want to experience something. We truly do have the personal power and potential to change child development by attuning to each other in a mirroring way. This means looking at our children when we are responding to them. It might take little effort now, but actually has a huge reward and return on investment for the future. Simply the acknowledgement and recognition that you do not have time to respond to their actual request right now- or that you are needing more time is technically still a response where they can receive your eye contact, attunment and curiousity to stay open for themselves. See if you can make an effort to acknowledge your child’s social emotional requests more than giving them an exact answer. Answering questions keeps us in our heads. Promoting curiosity encourages us to open our hearts. Ex: "Ah; you reallllly want to know about xyz..." And remember, perfection isn’t required for healthy development. If we do miss that mark for these mirroring opportunities we can always have a corrective emotional experience as we step into accountability and responsibility for ourselves in our parenting journey. Keep feeling what you are feeling! Keep voicing those internal feelings externally! I am so proud of you. http://www.magicmomentsplay.com
