Ever gotten a gift that you didn’t like but you pretended you did anyway? Let's talk about why it’s OK to not like things, and how to let others not like things, too. Hopefully, it will encourage you to let go of people-pleasing in favor of being true to yourself. And, to be clear - we can still be kind without superficially “being nice.” So, go ahead and admit you didn’t love that sweater from Aunt Edna. It’s OK. I promise. On the flip side, are there things you secretly WANT to do that you hold back from for fear of judgment from others? We talk about liberation from that, too.
Episode Highlights:
02:15 The doll that inspired this episode as my daughter’s impression of it went from delighted to worried and then slightly scared
04:20 I experienced a proud parenting moment when I realized I hadn’t forced my kid to like something that she didn’t enjoy
04:48 This brought up my own feelings about disappointing others who gave me gifts and my shame for not liking everything that I am given
05:47 How is pretending to like things you don’t enjoy working out for you? For me, it basically becomes a recipe for misery and dread
06:30 In the technological age that we live in it is so easy to distract ourselves with temporary hits of joy by scrolling our phones or binging TV rather than pay attention to anything we don’t like that much
07:20 Our loved ones definitely notice when we aren’t truly engaged with them and their hobbies or favorite shows
07:57 Are white lies a significant part of your interactions with others, or are you mostly able to tell them the truth about how you feel?
08:52 When you want to get along and be liked by everyone there is a huge instinct to agree and go along with the crowd
09:12 What would it look like to feel completely free to disagree with others in your life?
10:55 What kind of social pressure is at work in your life that makes you want to present yourself as liking something that deep down, you don’t really care for? Can you be brave enough to declare what you truly love, no matter what someone else thinks?
12:35 It felt like a death sentence as a teenager to be forced to wear a hat and be seen as ugly, despite the very legitimate need to keep my head warm in subzero weather
14:08 Being secure enough to like what you like and dislike what you dislike comes from feeling secure in your ability to choose and feeling like your choices matter
14:47 How much can we loosen our grip on activities we do only out of duty so that we make room for our own interests and follow our hearts?
15:55 Asking ourself “what do I want to do” can be so scary when we have to come up with the answer all alone – but your answer to that question is priceless
18:30 You’re the only one living your life, and you owe it to yourself to be honest with yourself about what you love and why you love it, and what you are repelled from and why that is so
19:10 What would it be like if you valued your own opinions and feelings as highly as you value what you think other people are thinking and feeling about you?
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Thanks for listening!
