Burnout is so common, and yet it barely gets a glance from most of us until we’re in it – and even then, it can feel like we’re the only ones who experience it. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Episode highlights
01:00 The shame we feel in admitting our stress and mental or emotional pain can cause us to stay silent about it and attempt to work through it on our own.
02:00 Burnout is not just feeling tired or feeling unconnected to something you once loved – it’s feeling guilty and shameful about it, too.
02:30 Not talking about our burnout and overwhelm stigmatizes it and prevents us from getting the support we need to end the situation.
03:31 As human beings we can’t be expected to always give, give, give without ever taking, too.
04:00 Despite wanting to be more authentic and vulnerable, we still have the instinct to prettify even our ugly moments, because that’s what we’ve been consuming our entire lives.
05:55 What sets you up to succeed in pulling yourself out of the pit of burnout is growing the capacity you have to be with your feelings.
07:50 Your mind will try to serve you every distraction it can conjure up to make you feel better when you attempt to sit with an uncomfortable emotion, but indulging the distraction only delays dealing with that feeling.
08:13 Suppressing a feeling or going around it instead of experiencing it contributes to a ton of anxiety, where we spend lots of energy avoiding an unknown enemy and we’re left confused as to why we’re anxious at all.
09:20 We have so many good reasons for avoiding pain and avoiding feeling the yuckier feelings.
09:30 When we interrupt our body’s process of moving through emotions, we keep accumulating incomplete experiences, and this catches up to us and wears us out.
10:00 Accumulated stress pops up when we slow down, which can manifest as trouble sleeping or relaxing.
10:15 When we don’t recognize what’s happening, we interpret anxiousness as having no cause and therefore no remedy.
10:48 When we rationalize that there is no reason for us to feel a certain way, we tend to then deny the emotion because we believe it is invalid.
12:00 Part of the reckoning with our feelings is owning up to the party we played in our lives. There’s a reason we feel like we do, even if we don’t want that to be true.
15:30 Our mind has a lot of hidden expectations that can surprise us when we dig deeper than our surface questions and answers.
15:45 Sometimes the easiest and gentlest approach to burnout is not to ask it to go away, but to ask it why it’s here.
16:40 The emotion we’re most scared of feeling is often much the same as what we’re already feeling anyway, but avoiding it only draws it out longer.
17:56 Emotionally speaking, it’s so important that you recognize that you’re a person in a body who needs to physically feel and express their feelings.
19:20 I don’t know anybody who only has one stuck feeling or one stuck thought. We all have a lot to move, and that’s OK.
20:40 Even as someone trying your best to move through and past your pains, it’s OK to fail, and to feel the same emotions again and again, and to find the same feelings in new or similar situations. That’s the work, and it’s the same for everyone.
22:40 Attempting to rid myself of a thought was so e
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