Saying yes too many times to things I don’t really want to do builds up a lot of resentment. When someone taps into my desire to belong, take care of people and be of benefit to those around me, it’s easy for me to say yes before I’ve even processed their request.
I like my brain space to be mellow these days, and I like simple matter-of-fact decision-making. One of my clues that I haven’t maintained a boundary is that I think about it all the time, and it clogs up my mind and creates tumultuous emotions.
I have to own my own emotions and my involvement in becoming the person who is solving someone else’s problems.
To stop overcommitting, I have to first be honest about what I want to accomplish and do for myself. What do those goals require of me mentally, timewise, financially, socially, and physically? I can only stop overcommitting if I assign value to my own goals and KNOW what they take so that I know how much a new project might overwhelm or derail my plans and desires. And that makes it a lot easier to stand by and let others resolve their goals without me taking it over or managing it for them – because I am managing myself really well instead.
When you want to please everyone, you don’t even realize you have a limit of your own until you’ve gone so far past it that you are overwhelmed, tired, and resentful. We have to stop that! Being yourself and doing your stuff is enough. We don’t need to get love by solving other people’s problems. We are worthy of love simply when existing, as we are, with no strings or favors attached.
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Thanks for listening!
