In this week's podcast Kevin and I discuss a concept that I learned from Brooke Castillo from the Life Coach School. It is called the "Want Match" What this means is sometimes in our relationships we want one person to meet all of our wants and needs, however if we realize this is not realistic or healthy we would be able to find better "matches" to meet our needs and make it a win/win. An example- your wife may love to shop and if her husband doesn't but she is always wanting him to shop with her it can create a lot of problems. So instead the husband maybe goes shopping occasionally and the wife finds a friend or relative to go with her the other times she is wanting to shop. There are of course boundaries that need to be discussed when it comes to doing things with the opposite sex (I personally feel this is a recipe for disaster if you allow this) but every relationship has different rules- so as long as they are discussed, no judgement.
My favorite part of this podcast is that we discuss an activity we did with our therapist Emil Harker. He had us draw a circle and write every quality we wanted in a partner and then on the outside of the circle we wrote all the qualities we didn't want in a partner. I must say the first time we did this it was painful for both of us to read each other's circles but ultimately it brought us back together and we were able to create the marriage we both wanted.
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