How to Emotionally Self-Regulate
Emotional self-awareness is crucial in our day to day life; at the workplace and in our personal lives.
Each day we encounter situations that may trigger tension in various settings.
An emotionally intelligent individual has the competencies of emotional self-awareness, emotional self-expression and awareness of other people’s emotions and this also involves mindfulness and emotional self regulation. When you encounter an emotionally triggering event, the trick is not to suppress the emotions/submissiveness or to be reactive / throw tantrums. Rather, you could try the following:
Is it anger, fear, frustration or sadness etc .” Identify and naming it helps you to acknowledge and manage it.
Process, challenge the thoughts associated with the feeling, is it true? Is it accurate? Could you be interpreting things inaccurately clouded by your perceptions and stereotypes? or could the situation be triggering previous experiences that were hurtful or you could not to address successfully?
What action is this emotion evoking; to:
Say?
Do/Act?
Shut down?
Avoid?
When tempted to stonewall, sulk or withdraw, calmly and assertively express your feelings. When you feel like being reactive/lashing out; pause and process, and shift to consequential thinking, examine if you are being responsive or reactive, escalating or de-escalating the situation/tension.
- Assertive communication
involves authentic communication of how the situation makes you feel, honest expression of how you wish to be treated or your desired outcome; the change you wish to see without being aggressive.
Engage in square/box breathing, go for a walk. Journal, listen to soothing music, or guided meditation, self-soothing techniques ; squeeze a ball or pat a dog.
Remember # Emotional Intelligence is an effective tool for meaningful relationships and high performance.
References
Bray, S.(2025,June 6). Emotional Outbursts Don't Belong in the Boardroom, But Neither Does Bottling It Up. LinkedIn.
Goleman , D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why it matters more than IQ
Stein and Book ( 2005 ). The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success.
Botshelo, T. M. (2014). Itsose : Lifeskills for the African Youth
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