Relationships don’t develop in an inflexible and linear manner, as is posited in the popular “relationship escalator” model for relationships. Still, there is some regularity to relationship evolution. At some point, for some (but not all) intimate relationships, the tone of the relationship may shift from giddy delight in each other’s presence, to a growing desire to spend more time together and become a regular part of each other’s lives. A desire to bond with one another can develop, driven mainly by the influence of the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin.
The bonding phase of a relationship is characterized by the partners’ desire to invest in their relationship, physically (such as by moving in together) and psychologically (such as by emotionally feeling that they’ve become a couple). Feelings of growing attachment can lead to growing commitment to one another. While feelings of attachment are involuntary, commitment entails making conscious and voluntary decisions. This episode explores how commitment plays into a deepening intimate relationship.
Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at claude@twoopendoors.com.
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