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Ever walked into a networking event or professional gathering wondering if you're wearing the right thing, saying the right things, or even supposed to be there? You're not alone. In this episode, hosts Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford reveal a simple mental shift that can transform how you show up in any room—and it has nothing to do with what others think of you.
Angela introduces the powerful concept of "host energy vs guest energy" and explains why belonging isn't something others grant you—it's something you claim for yourself. Learn how shifting from waiting for validation to actively creating welcome can change not just how you feel, but how everyone around you experiences the space.
What You'll Learn
- The difference between "guest energy" (waiting for confirmation you belong) and "host energy" (owning your presence and welcoming others)
- Why belonging is a decision you make, not permission others give
- How abandonment issues can impact your sense of belonging
- Practical ways to make others feel included (even when you're uncertain yourself)
- The "empty chair philosophy" and other subtle gestures that create belonging
- When it's healthy to leave rooms where you no longer want to belong
- Why being the smartest person in the room might mean you're in the wrong room
Key Takeaways
- "I belong to me" - Angela's breakthrough realization that belonging starts with self-acceptance, not external validation
- The host energy shift - When you walk into any space focused on making others feel welcome, you automatically claim your own belonging
- Fake it till you make it (sort of) - Even if you're uncertain about your own belonging, affirming others' belonging creates a positive feedback loop
- Small gestures matter - From making space in circles to always having an empty chair, little acts of inclusion compound
- Choose your rooms wisely - You get to decide which spaces align with who you want to be, and it's okay to consciously leave communities that no longer serve you
Resources Mentioned
- Traveling Light - Angela's program featuring the seven core beliefs, including belonging
- Belief Assessment - Tool used in Angela and Sami's executive coaching
- Bob Goff's Writers Conference - Example of host energy in action
- Gallup StrengthsFinder - Assessment that identified Sami's "inclusion" strength
About the Hosts
Sami Kinnison naturally scores high on belonging and has "inclusion" as one of her top Gallup strengths. She's passionate about making sure everyone has space in the circle.
Angela Belford has deeply studied belonging through the lens of abandonment and teaches the seven core beliefs in her Traveling Light program and executive coaching practice.
Order Traveling Light wherever you get your books!
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