What do you do when kids forget things and don't show responsibility?
Kids are GOING to forget things and be irresponsible! Because they are kids! The key is to figure out if it is purposeful, or just a personality trait, and be prepared to lovingly repeat yourself. (Have you ever forgotten anything? I know I have!)
Be a student of your kids, and use that knowledge to work with individual kids and personalities as you work with them to grow responsibility. As they get older, teach your kids to work with their own personalities (for example, if they are very forgetful, teach them to do things as they come up so they DON'T get forgotten).
After a certain point, as long as it's safe, consider allowing natural consequences to occur. This way you can let go of micromanagement and the stress that comes with having to follow behind many littles checking up on them constantly.
With your kids, are you more reliant on natural consequences or do you use other kinds of consequences more often?
Y'all, we are trying to raise adults and teach lessons that will grow kind, respectful, and caring humans.
We really try to work with natural consequences as much as possible. By giving kids appropriate amounts of responsibility, you may find that natural consequences will ensue.
Family Outing Example: Kids AND husbands can share the responsibility for preparing for family outings. Allow your people to help! It sets good expectations that mom isn't solely responsible for everyone's happiness when the family is out and about (this is good NOW and in the future when these little people head out into the world to be husbands and wives).
As you allow natural consequences to occur, watch how your kiddos react. . .do they feel sorry? Do they understand the opportunity for learning and growth? This is when it MAY be necessary to step in and lay down a boundary.
We WANT to say yes, but it's important to take care of business first! Resist the urge to feel mom-guilt when kids don't hold up their end of the bargain and have consequences as a result of their actions. This is GREAT adult training.
It is so HARD for moms when kids make poor choices, it makes us sad, BUT we have to stick to the boundaries (natural or otherwise) we set out if we want to raise good adults.
How about you? Do you rely on natural consequences? Head over to Instagram this week and join the conversation @thedeliberateday
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