How do you deal with highly sensitive kids?
We talk about three types of highly sensitive kiddos. . .
1. Kids that are overly emotional.
2. The melt down kid.
3. The kiddo who just shuts down.
There are a few different ways to handle these kids, but we ALWAYS begin with respect.
Then, first, we remove ourself from the situation (especially if a kiddo is acting out when we are out and about). As parents, it's our job to help our little ones deal with these emotions and communicate their needs in a better way.
We've all left stores with screaming children, we've all cried in our cars in parking lots, but these are all good battles we are fighting.
Highly sensitive kids seem to push boundaries, and it's our job to set boundaries and stand firm on them. We all want kids who are kind, sensitive, loving adults who bring good to the world.
So, remove kiddos from the situation, acknowledge their feelings (as much without judgement as possible-because they are trying to communicate), then seek to hone the behavior (without breaking the child) and stick with your boundary.
At home, starting from a young age, we don't do screaming or all-out laying on the floor fit throwing. Brittany acknowledges the kiddo, offers them the option to go and calm down, feel ALL the things, and come back when they are a bit more calm (little kids, big kids, etc.).
In our house, we have had some kiddos who can't settle themselves once they get going. In that case I have held hands, looked in eyes, given hugs, even bear hugs. It ALL depends on the kid.
When kids DO settle down, Brittany suggests listening first-and then trying to help kids navigate those feelings with respect. Respect is BIG for Brittany-modeling respect (speaking respectfully to her kids and expecting her kids to speak respectfully to her). Next, Brittany uses the "good questions" to get her kids involved in handling the situation.
In summary. . .Firm boundaries, consistency, ask good questions, give them time and space to calm down, then address the issue and draw your hard line at disrespect-and do so without guilt.
Something to keep in mind (with highly sensitive kids) is the times when they are more likely to break down. Some kids don't do well with change or transitions. If you have a kiddo like this, make sure to talk them through the day-and give your expectations.
Finally, kids are always growing and changing! Maybe this is not the "Library" or the "Grocery Store" with kids season (I stayed out of the library for like 10 years), but just keep doing your best and tryi
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