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Description

This week, strap on your chunkiest heels and slip into your most embellished jeans, as we join Lyssa and Jacob at the mall! There are tragic backstories. There’s cum on a kitten crop top. There’s the sleaziest villain to ever sleaze. There are dissolute French cats that might also be Russian. Emily learns that we all, do, in fact float down here, and Morgan gets inspiration for a new centerpiece. We may have 99 problems, but this book isn’t one!

The soundtrack for this episode was provided by Camberous Cock, the hottest, most throbbing band that you’ve probably never heard of. 

#psychicblowjob #competenceporn #thornybutthole #tablesettings #fountainsex #hottopic #vampirepheromones #whydomyhandsfeelviscous 

Content warnings for sexual assault (referenced—we don’t read the passage on the show), vampire-related blood and gore