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In this episode, we dive into the conflict between wants and needs—a dynamic that significantly impacts how physicians manage their time, energy, and priorities. Inspired by insights from The Gap Versus the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, Megan unpacks why physicians often prioritize external demands over their own personal goals and desires.
Key Topics Discussed:
1. The Conflict Between Needs and Wants
Physicians are highly trained to respond to external drivers and prioritize others' needs, often at the expense of their own.
- Common examples include:
- Completing patient notes and addressing inbox messages.
- Managing the tension between doing work efficiently versus meeting perfectionistic expectations.
2. Why Change Feels Difficult
The brain is wired to focus on survival and external validation, not personal desires like more free time or less stress.
- Many physicians are conditioned to value perfection and external praise, which reinforces time-consuming habits.
3. Three Steps to Align with Your Wants:
- Step 1: Clarify the Value of Your Goal
- Ask: Why do I want this? (e.g., to avoid late nights finishing notes, reduce stress, or be present with family).
- Write down at least 20 reasons to connect emotionally with the goal.
- Step 2: Identify Deep-Seated Beliefs
- Explore beliefs about what is “necessary” in your work, such as writing perfect notes or avoiding mistakes at all costs.
- Challenge whether those beliefs truly serve you.
- Step 3: Bridge the Gap
- Compare your list of wants to the obstacles in your way.
- Take small, measurable steps toward progress and celebrate those wins.
4. Practical Applications:
- Understand the difference between doing something “good enough” versus striving for perfection.
- Focus on incremental changes, like finishing one note before moving on to the next task or closing mental loops at the end of the day.
- Use this process for bigger goals like reducing administrative burdens or transitioning to a more fulfilling career.
Takeaways:
- Recognize that your training predisposes you to prioritize others’ needs—but embracing your own wants is essential for your well-being.
- By shifting your mindset and making small, consistent changes, you can free yourself from overwhelm and reclaim your time.
- Progress is not linear, and setbacks are normal—but each step forward is a win worth celebrating.
Resources & Mentions:
- The Gap Versus the Gain by Dan Sullivan & Dr. Benjamin Hardy PhD
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Connect with Dr. Megan Melo:
- Website: www.healthierforgood.com
- Instagram: @MeganMeloMD
- Email: megan@healthierforgood.com
Support the show
To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.
Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com
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@MeganMeloMD
