What if your “fierce independence” is actually the hook that keeps you in a toxic loop? We dig into the hidden chemistry between avoidant attachment and narcissistic partners, mapping the quiet drift from self-reliance to self-erasure—and the exact steps to get your power back. Mikey opens up about the exhaustion of being gaslit, the pull of hoovering, and the grief of co‑parenting at a distance, while Dee threads practical tools you can use today.
We break down the telltale signs of the avoidant–narcissist cycle: emotional numbing, intermittent reinforcement that rewards compliance, and love bombing that resets false hope. Then we shift to action. You’ll hear a safety-first exit plan, from gathering documents and securing finances to a neutral breakup script that shuts down circular arguments. We explore no contact versus low contact for those with shared kids, including written-only communication, clear logistics, documentation, and when to involve mediators or attorneys who de-escalate rather than inflame.
Healing doesn’t end at the door. We share cognitive anchors that counter nostalgia—lists of concrete harms to reread when doubt creeps in—plus therapy-backed “micro-bravery” practices: five slow breaths to reset panic, one honest need voiced per day, and low-stakes trust tests that rebuild confidence without overwhelm. Listener questions take us through grieving the imagined future, handling threats with restraint orders and safe contacts, whether narcissists truly
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