Are you unknowingly sending your teen the message that their best isn’t good enough?
In this episode, we dig into a concept called "pointing positive," a term from river kayaking that can make a big difference in parenting teens through tough times. When we guide our kids toward what they want to achieve, instead of focusing on what they need to fix, we can help them feel more motivated and confident in their journey.
Think about it: if your teen has worked hard to bring their grades up from D’s and F’s to consistent C’s, it’s tempting to ask, “Why aren’t you getting B’s or A’s?” But focusing on what’s still lacking can undermine their progress, even when we mean well. By “pointing positive” and acknowledging their small steps forward, we show them that we see and value their growth, making it easier for them to keep pushing forward.
“If you are honoring the change that has been made, that encourages more change” - Beth Hillman
Seth and I discuss how, as parents, our attention impacts our kids’ motivation. It’s about shifting focus to what’s working, not ignoring reality, but being more mindful. When we highlight the positive changes, no matter how small, we’re reinforcing their resilience and progress.
And remember, change takes time and practice, for both us parents and our struggling teens. Here’s to guiding them forward, one positive step at a time.
In this episode on influencing your teen toward positive change, we discuss:
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.
✨ Free 4-week workshop for parents of teens and young adults: Stop Enabling & Start Supporting — Your Young Adult in 2026.
Hosted by Not Therapy (former “troubled teens” turned coaches who’ve supported 70+ teens/YAs) and parent coach Beth Hillman.
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