When your teen lies to you, it can feel like a betrayal, whether it’s about doing the dishes, where they were last night, or something much bigger. But what if their dishonesty isn’t a sign of disrespect, but a sign of something deeper?
Today, therapist Dana VanRenterghem is back to unpack the emotional complexity behind why teens lie. From little white lies to big cover-ups, together we explore what’s often happening beneath the surface: fear, shame, and the deep need for connection. And with all those new insights into why your teen or young adult might lie to you, how can you shift from punishment to understanding
You’ll gain insight into how to stay grounded in moments of dishonesty, why rewarding truth-telling might not build integrity, and how to create a home where your teen feels emotionally safe enough to be honest, even when it’s hard.
This is the long game of parenting. It’s not about quick fixes or bribing your teen into transparency. It’s about building trust, speaking to the emotional brain, and being a safe person for your child to come to, especially when they mess up.
In this episode on why teens lie, you'll learn:
More about Dana VanRenterghem, LMSW (she/her)
Dana is a therapist who believes in the healing power of relationships. With a background in residential treatment, trauma recovery, and family systems, she brings deep compassion and insight to her work with parents, teens, and young adults. Dana is part of the team at the Family Intensive Institute and draws from approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR. Outside of therapy, she’s a marathon runner, jiu jitsu purple belt, and proud stepmom who knows firsthand that parenting is the toughest challenge of all.
More episodes with Dana:
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