Today we are kicking off a series on Relationships: Top 5 Relationship Savers. We will spend an episode on each Relationship Saver. By the end of the series, you will have the opportunity to step into improved relationships with everyone around you because they apply to the relationships with your significant other, your children, your coworkers, your friends, and your family. The first relationship saver is “Assume Positive Intent”
· I know I can’t be the only one who has taken someone’s words, expressions, suggestions, or behaviors in a different way than intended.
o Ex. I was sick several months ago, and no one checked on me….
o I should have taken my own advice to calm my emotional brain.
· Behaviors do express motivation, but we can’t read other people's minds yet…cog distortion – mind reading
o Smile and hug could be motivated by fear or love
o Ex. A child with an unhealthy parent. Worked w/ many a role-reversal moments. (hot springs in Montana)
· Different Angle…If I was an alcoholic and my wife dumped my booze…Fear or Love? Both? PI?
o Need vs Want: help you discern your own motivation.
· Your strategies help you understand if you are more likely to fall into this particular unhelpful strategy (assuming worst in people)
o If you tend to believe people can’t be trusted – Assuming positive intent will he hard
o If you tend to believe everyone can be trusted, you will get burned…
o Focus energy on close relationships, especially if they haven’t given you a reason for distrust.
o Be aware of self and recognize you have a choice. Blame is a dead-end street.
How does assuming positive intent help you LEAD Lucky? Be curious. Set boundaries/consequences. When people are led as opposed to just managed, they tend to be more honest and productive. If things are not going well, it is time to look within. Remember, blame is a dead-end street.
Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do?
Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Please rate the podcast. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… Follow us to know when the next episode is available. liveluckytherapy is available. I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more Living Lucky next time.
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The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804
