Grabber – why this topic is important
In our book this comes in the section on boundaries.
That’s because, if you can’t enforce a boundary you have set, people sense that and it rapidly becomes meaningless – and you become vulnerable to the agendas and demands of others – often at a huge cost to your energy and well-being.
It’s a real issue – see quote
“Boundary predators are easy to find at work”[1]
Source: Set Better Boundaries - HBR - Priscilla Claman 2021
Broadening it out – we all have times when we need to have conversations about issues people may react badly to. If you can’t do it, it has an adverse impact on your sense of self
How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats
1. According to the UK Governements HSE[2] there are six main areas that can lead to work-related stress if they are not managed properly – 3 of them relate, either directly or indirectly to an inability to either set or enforce a boundary at work
2. According to CIPD[3], workload (59% of cause) is the most common cause of work-related stress followed by management style (32%) – again directly related to boundaries
3. The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health has documented the impacts of prolonged workplace stressors in areas such as cardiovascular disease, musculoskeletal disorders, and psychological disorders.[4]
4. Furthermore, we normally get a sense of whether someone is able to say no. If they don’t, we normally respect them less than people that can say no (skillfully) – “They are a soft touch” versus “You can’t take any liberties with them.” This is important because
“Boundary predators rely on their power and authority — and your passivity — to get what they want. It’s up to you to push back by understanding how to create boundaries and maintain them”
Source: Set Better Boundaries - HBR - Priscilla Claman 2021
How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up
1]Recognize that you have the power to set boundaries, albeit some may require negotiation
Setting and communicating boundaries
‘Having a Plan for Difficult Conversations Decreases Stress, Anxiety’
Greg Scott and Wendy Malich on August 27, 2020[5]
In the book – our tested approach is OBRIFF
Application – how to do it in practice – give examples
Being able to say no is a crucial skill in maintaining your resilience charge in these situations. Here are some more questions to consider:
· How comfortable are you in skilfully saying no to attempts to infringe your boundaries? When did you last do it?
· Are there any people that you struggle to say no to (and is it a reasonable versus unreasonable no)?
Conclusion – where to find out more:
a. Check out any of the sources that we mentioned
b. Blog post on our website
c. The book
d. Tip of the week
[1] They include the boss who asks you to work the weekend you have a family wedding or the client who tacks on two more presentations to the senior team than you agreed to, or the team leader who assigns you more work than your colleagues.
Boundar
www.rechargeability.com
