1. Grabber – why this topic is important
a. The problem with attachments, from a resilience perspective, is that, like fixed mindsets, they lead to a rigidity in our responses to situations. It can reduce our flexibility. This is a problem, because adapting to circumstances is critical to being resilient. Trees which don’t bend with the wind eventually get uprooted by a big enough storm.
2. How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats
a. Let’s define what we mean first: “It means clinging to people, beliefs, habits, possessions and circumstances. You feel emotionally attached to them and are unable and unwilling to let go, make changes, or get out of your comfort zone. It means lack of freedom, because you tie yourself to people, possession, habits and beliefs, and avoid change and anything new.” Remez Sasson
b. In summary attachments drain energy and reduce flexibility.
i. That can be tiring
ii. It can also reduce people’s appetite for working with you (e.g. think of someone who …) That makes it harder to get important things done as well as starving you of potentially great (albeit different) ideas
c. Consider these generic signs of attachments:
i. If you say, “That’s just who I am” as a way of explaining away behaviour
ii. If you say, “That’s just the way I do things” as a way of explaining away alternative approaches
iii. If you repeatedly moan about someone or something
iv. If you are disproportionately defensive of an attitude
d. Examples of six attachments in book, e.g. …
3. How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up
There are three steps. The good news: They are simple to understand. The bad news: They take a bit of time to work through and execute. The sense of freedom and life that comes afterwards nearly always makes it worth it
a. Recognise and acknowledge that you might have an unhealthy attachment. It is very difficult to change something that is either out of awareness or which you don’t accept is an issue. If in doubt, ask someone who knows you and who’s opinion you trust: “Do I have a tendency to <Insert attachment>?”
b. Explore the attachment. At one point in time, the attachment will have made sense to you, at some level, even if it doesn’t now. A great way of exploring this is to ask yourself the question, “Why does it make sense to <Insert attachment>?” Try to sense and feel into the answer, rather than to think and analyse. Ask the question six or seven times – until there is no more energy in it
c. Craft some self-talk which su
www.rechargeability.com
