The sh*t we not fuxing with today is dem n***as from our past. This Uppity Black Woman who is both a God girl and a goddess girl received very clear messages over the course of the week regarding dem n***as from my past and the implications for my future. While it is often easy for us to look outward when assessing the status of our relationships, particularly when they have not turned out in the way in which we anticipated, it is incredibly important to look inward and determine whether we get heart hurt (and oft times in varying degrees of pain) because we keep going to the same n***a with a different face. Recently, I heard from three dudes – one from as far back as 20 years ago, all in very close succession to each other. And they all returned to present me with a message - one that forces me to examine what is it that I look for (and attract) in relationship. These men all have very similar characteristics when I do the assessment, and I recognize that there are hints of my father in all of them (took a deep breath as I wrote that, and will be processing that in therapy). But the signs, the clear signs are there. One general theme that pops up is the inability for these men to pour warm love on my heart, however, these men did have the capacity to give “love” based in provision – very similar to my father. In my big age, I no longer want to drink that type of poison (literally, one of the signs the goddesses sent regarding one of dem n***as included carbon monoxide), as that is love based in seeking certainty and security - a fear based love. I want instead to drink the colors of love.
REFERENCES IN TODAYS EPISODE
About Goddess Sara la Kali - Goddess of Divine Lineage
New Daughters of Africa: An International Anthology by Women of African Descent , Edited by Margaret Busby, Laurie Kubuitisile, The Colours of Love at pp 415-418
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