In this episode, Robin takes us back into an inside look, (“Part Two”), into several really poignant conversations that took place in one of her four weekly support groups she facilitates for women coming out late in life. With permission from all the women in this small group this particular week, they collectively agreed that the conversation that transpired was just too good NOT to share with her podcast listeners.
In this Part Two episode, you will hear and learn about . . .
- We pick up the conversation with the idea that ‘feeling uncomfortable’ and ‘feeling uncertain’ are simply aspects of life that we must accept. That we must get comfortable with being UNcomfortable; that we must learn how to be comfortable while also feeling uncertainty.
- We talk about how “we don’t HAVE to make this moment, or this situation tolerable for everyone else just so that I can tolerate it.”
- We collectively agreed that we WISHED someone would have said to us, as young girls, that it’s ok to disappoint people - that they’ll be ok. We shared what the magnitude of that conversation would have had on our young lives, and beyond, had we been told that it’s ok to disappoint others.
- How much growth and ‘riches’ exist in the sitting-in the unknown, and sitting in the discomfort.
- We learned how to manipulate and control as a result of feeling out of control growing up; those tactics and auto-responses come with us into our adult relationships.
- Learning to feel safe and trustworthy within ourselves.
- As children, we learned coping mechanisms to conform and ‘not disappoint’ in order to keep the peace. As adults, we need to shed these coping mechanisms that no longer serve us when we learn to trust ourselves.
- THIS is it! A declaration - no longer a question!
- Staying (in my marriage or hetero-relationship would have been easier. Easier for who? What IS “easier”?
- Don’t look back(wards). Appreciate the experiences that made us into who we are today. We are the sum of ALL of our experiences!
- Our lives unfold precisely how they are meant to unfold.
- Our lives, our stories do NOT have to look like everyone else’s.
- What does “gay” look like today? How do you represent? If you’re very femme, how do you let others know you’re gay?
- Some Bonus conversation about Episode #55, and if/how we should come out to elderly parents and grandparents.
- Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation for all the time, love and energy she pours into our Community. Any and all donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!! Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass
Links to resources:
SPEAKER SUMMIT #4: How to Handle the Holidays Before, During or After Coming Out!!Join us virtually in Zoom on Wednesday, November 16, from 7pm to 9pm EST when we invite Hulu’s star couple from “Mormon No More” and creators of their “Peace Out” podcast, Sal Osborne and Lena Schwen. Who better to talk to us about how to handle the holidays than this family of seven children, and two ex-husbands, than a couple of former Mormons. $27 pp. Register using the Calendly link below. Recordings are available for purchase for $27, by emailing Robin at: Comingoutlater@gmail.com.Register for the Live, virtual event here:https://calendly.com/comingoutlatecommunity/speaker-summit-4
COMING OUT LATE SUPPORT GROUPS:
ALL of our now FOUR support groups have gone to a $5 per person, per meeting “Cover Charge”. ALL groups are now accessible via a unique Buy Me A Coffee link that is special to each of the four support groups, AND, once you’ve paid, will take you to the Zoom link needed to
