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In this episode, I dive deep into the world of people-pleasing, exploring the behaviors, root causes, and emotional toll it takes on our well-being. If you find it hard to say "no," prioritise others' needs over your own, or fear rejection and conflict, this episode is for you. 

I share personal experiences, real-life examples and actionable strategies to help you stop people-pleasing and reclaim your boundaries.

Key Takeaways:

Signs You’re a People-Pleaser:

• Difficulty saying "no," even when it’s inconvenient
• Seek external validation through helping others
• Over-apologizing unnecessarily
• Avoiding conflict by agreeing to things you don’t believe in
• Neglecting your own needs to prioritise others'

Root Causes of People-Pleasing:

• Fear of rejection and conflict
• Low self-worth and equating your value with how much you help others
• Childhood conditioning and the need to "stay safe" by being agreeable

Why People-Pleasing is Harmful:

• Leads to burnout, overwhelm, and resentment
• Creates unhealthy relationships where your needs are sidelined
• Keeps you stuck in a cycle of seeking external validation

How to Stop People-Pleasing:

• Start small by practicing saying "no" to minor requests
• Set clear boundaries and stick to them, even if it surprises others
• Develop self-awareness to recognize when you’re acting out of fear or obligation
• Learn to regulate your emotions and calm your nervous system (e.g., through heart-based emotional regulation techniques)
• Shift your mindset: understand that true friends and healthy relationships respect your boundaries

Resources Mentioned:

HeartMath techniques for emotional regulation - I can teach you this, email me for info.

Gabor Mate's book: When the Body Says No.

Learn more about my coaching programs to help you break free from people-pleasing - you can enjoy 50% off a 4 session coaching package this week only - email me for details - emma@emmaobriencoach.com

If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place.

I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice.

Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required.

🌀 Want to work together?

Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com

Questions or ready to chat?

DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach
or book a free connection call HERE.