In this episode of Nomadic Diaries, hosts Doreen Cumberford, Megan Norton-Newbanks welcome Lois Bushong, Author, Retired Counselor and Coaching expert on Third Culture Kids (TCKs). This conversation dives deep into the ever-evolving concepts of home and belonging, exploring generational differences, digital community building, and the psychological needs that underpin our sense of “place.”
Key Discussion Points
1. Home vs. Belonging
- Lois distinguishes between "home" (a physical space) and "belonging" (an emotional, psychological state).
- You can be in your literal home but not feel a sense of belonging, and vice versa.
2. Maslow’s Hierarchy and Belonging
- Belonging sits just above basic needs (food, water, safety) in Maslow’s Hierarchy, emphasizing its foundational importance.
3. Third Culture Kids (TCKs)
- Defined as individuals who spend their formative years outside their passport country.
- Lois shares her expertise working with adult TCKs and reflects on the impact of living between cultures.
4. Generational Perspectives
- Lois breaks down differences between Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z, and even Generations Alpha/Beta.
- Younger generations are often more comfortable finding community online and are attuned to diversity and inclusion, whereas older generations favor face-to-face interactions, loyalty, and stability.
5. The Digital Shift
- The rise of technology has transformed experiences, with terms like “experience plagiarism” and “sensory hijacking” describing how online interactions can dilute genuine life experiences.
- Despite challenges, Lois and others note positives—like the ability to maintain meaningful connections through digital tools.
6. Authentic Belonging
- Defined as genuine, vulnerable connection, whether in-person or online.
- The group agrees that authentic belonging can occur in digital spaces when interactions are honest and supportive.
7. Changing Work Environments
- From office-centric workdays to remote, location-independent jobs, the sense of community and routine has shifted.
- Loneliness and isolation can result, but digital check-ins and intentional connections (like sending a daily heart emoji) are important new practices.
8. Internalizing Belonging
- Lois highlights the importance of cultivating internal belonging, especially when external circumstances change.
- Healthy, authentic relationships act as reflective “mirrors,” helping us to truly see ourselves.
Notable Quotes:
- “A home is a physical place... Belonging is a psychological concept.” Lois Bushong
- “Authentic belonging is when you’re real with someone - not fake, not pretend.” Lois Bushong
- “Digital communities break down physical barriers, but you still need authenticity for true belonging.” Lois Bushong
Takeaways
- Belonging looks different across generations and platforms - but its need remains urgent.
- Whether through face-to-face conversation, a heartfelt message, or a daily digital check-in, intentionality and authenticity are essential.
- For nomads, expats, and TCKs, belonging is both an internal journey and a relational one.
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