skip first 10 minutes of show due to 10 minute countdown clock
This week on Mansplaining the News, we sprinted through a buffet of headlines that felt like they were written by a drunk guy hitting “random” on reality. Trump picked Kevin Warsh for the Fed, American Airlines is flying to Venezuela again, and the IRS—after massive cuts—basically said, “Congrats America, your taxes are now being handled by Chad from orientation.” Add in “Epstein files” chaos, a Clinton reunion tour, and enough scandal energy to power a small city.
Then things got beautifully unhinged: honey got recalled because it had Cialis in it—so congrats, Winnie the Pooh, you finally had to put on pants. We’ve got dating surveys (Colorado Springs catching strays), a one-armed golfer draining a hole-in-one (somebody give the man a hand), and Dave & Buster’s putting diamond rings in the crane game… because nothing says “forever” like winning your fiancé’s engagement ring next to a sticky skee-ball machine.
And in showbiz news, it’s a fever dream with a soundtrack: Ozzy’s “lost tape” was found (the tape’s fine—Ozzy’s still Ozzy), Kim Kardashian is dating Lewis Hamilton (that joke writes itself), and Yoko Ono is already haunting the upcoming Beatles movies from a distance. Meanwhile, snack prices are dropping like a mercy from heaven, Sydney Sweeney is staying “non-political,” and Alice Cooper is out here planning a tour stunt that sounds like it comes with a co-pay. Basically: the world is on fire, but at least Doritos are cheaper.
Thanks for riding with us tonight, Alpha Pack. If you’re still here, you’re one of us. Smash that like button, subscribe wherever you listen, and share this with the friend who gets kicked out of family gatherings. We’re building a brotherhood, and you’re either in—or you’re missing out. Catch us next Tuesday at 8pm
