As we approach the holiday season we also approach the “unavoidable” aunts and uncles, the “offensive” siblings and “insufferable” old friends. This episode will equip you with the tools to navigate these relationships, but probably not in the way you expect. For one, we aren’t going to villainize people, as much as you might feel justified in doing so. In this episode I ask you to challenge yourself, to consider distressing dynamics and open up their hood to see what’s underneath…which is You. I explain that what makes relationships challenging isn’t so much the behaviours of others but our perceptions of them and the emotions that ensue. I discuss how the fundamental issue is that we don’t see our thoughts as choices, and that the first step to improving relational dynamics is to accept this. Then, we need to notice our desire to change people and instead, soften this focus and turn it inwards with the intention of taking responsibility for how we think and feel. In doing this, we experience how accountability for our feelings moves us from a state of victimhood, to a position of power. I then guide you through an active exercise to help you gain practical understanding of this concept, and encourage you to stop expecting different behaviours from people who’ve never shown capacity for the same. I leave you with the thought experiment of deciding ahead of time how you want to handle upsetting interactions that are historically guaranteed to happen, as a way of protecting your peace and returning your power to yourself.
LINKS
Metamorphosis Coaching https://www.amandaryanfear.com/metamorphosis-landing-page
Stop the Constant Self Criticism - Manage Your Inner Critic 5 Day Challenge https://www.amandaryanfear.com/managing-your-inner-critic-challenge
Join the Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/amandaryanfearcoaching/?ref=share_group_link
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Website - https://www.amandaryanfear.com/
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