What does it really mean to be a perfectionist? Episode 6 of “I Hate Talking” explores the concept of being a perfectionist, moving beyond their initial show introduction into more open-ended topics. They discuss the common perception of a perfectionist as someone who demands flawlessness and is self-critical, often with negative or positive connotations, but the dictionary simply defines a perfectionist as someone who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection.
The hosts share a personal story where one took a therapist’s survey to assess perfectionist traits versus excellence traits. The therapist challenged the guest’s denial of being a perfectionist by pointing out behaviors like always having pen and paper ready, and a fear of failure that leads to not trying at all.
They discuss the 20-word associative survey which lists traits associated with perfectionism (e.g., idealist, fear of failure, inflexible, self-condemning) and contrasts them with traits of excellence (e.g., realistic, self-accepting, flexible, focusing on process).
Listeners are invited to take the survey themselves, scoring how many traits they identify with on each side, and then subtracting their excellence score from their perfection score to see where they fall on the spectrum.
The hosts reflect that perfectionism is complex and not just about striving for perfection at all costs but can include avoiding effort due to fear of not achieving perfection.
The episode emphasizes that this exploration is less about labeling oneself strictly as a perfectionist or not, and more about gaining insight into personal motivations and perceptions, distinguishing between perfectionism and excellence. They conclude that understanding these nuances helps in self-awareness and growth, aligning with the show’s goal of fostering understanding through conversation.
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Any views expressed on this podcast are those solely of the hosts and is for entertainment purposes only. None of the content is medical advice or financial advice.
Special thanks to Tim Wright aka CoLD SToRAGE for his permission to use the song Operatique.
