Julie Legg and Jel Legg discuss ADHD, conflict and confrontation - why, when and how we are likely to react in certain situations.
They delve into the complexities of conflict and confrontation through the lens of ADHD, explore how traits like impulsivity and emotional intensity influence reactions, the challenges of managing conflict, and strategies for resolution. By highlighting the value of staying reflective and channeling energy into meaningful causes, they offer practical insights into navigating and even harnessing conflict for positive outcomes.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- ADHD and Conflict Dynamics: ADHD traits like impulsivity, intense emotions, and dopamine regulation issues can exacerbate conflict situations. Responses often default to “fight” or “flight” instincts, with Julie and Jel sharing contrasting reactions—Julie preferring avoidance, Jel leaning toward verbal confrontation.
- Understanding Conflict Triggers: Conflict can escalate when low dopamine levels or repeated provocations occur. ADHDers may struggle with patience and emotional regulation, making resolution challenging.
- Debate vs. Conflict: While debates can be stimulating and constructive for ADHDers, they may turn into conflicts if emotions are introduced or one party becomes inflexible. Staying calm and focusing on the exchange of ideas helps maintain balance.
- Third Option – Staying Present: Beyond fight or flight, staying present and reflective can help de-escalate conflict. Recognizing when someone is projecting their stress rather than addressing the issue directly is a valuable skill.
- Strategies for Resolution: Quick resolution of small irritations can prevent larger blowups. The “gray rock” technique—remaining neutral and unengaged—can help defuse situations without escalating emotions.
- Harnessing Conflict Positively: While conflict is unavoidable in life, ADHDers may excel in causes or movements requiring persistence and hyperfocus. Turning passion into purposeful action can channel confrontation into positive outcomes.
LINKS
Julie is the author of THE MISSING PIECE: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD (Harper Collins, 2024)
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