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Season 1 Episode 11: Work, Family, and the Impossible Balance
Finding harmony between work and family life might be the ultimate challenge for modern relationships. As therapists who specialize in couples counseling, we've observed how the delicate balance of careers, household responsibilities, and childcare creates unique tensions that can either strengthen or strain partnerships.
The perpetual tug-of-war many couples experience isn't just in your imagination—it's a documented phenomenon called work-family conflict. That guilt you feel while working (wishing you could attend your child's school event) and the distraction you experience during family time (mentally composing work emails) creates a sense that you're failing at both roles simultaneously. We validate this struggle and give it a proper name, along with other key concepts like spillover, where workplace stress follows you home, affecting your interactions with loved ones.
Women especially face compounding pressures through what researchers call the "motherhood penalty"—the documented negative impact on lifetime earnings when scaling back careers for family responsibilities. This economic reality, combined with the "second shift" of household duties that follows a full workday, creates pressure points in even the strongest relationships.
Perhaps most insidious is the invisible "mental load"—that constant background processing of family needs, schedules, and household management that one partner (typically women in heterosexual relationships) carries disproportionately. Understanding the distinction between necessary mental load and self-imposed expectations can transform how couples navigate these challenges.
This episode offers more than just validation of your experience—it provides the language to have meaningful conversations with your partner about these dynamics. We invite you to use these concepts as starting points: How does work-family conflict manifest in your relationship? Who carries the mental load? What expectations might be self-imposed rather than necessary?
Dr. Jenna and Dr. Nari are the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists behind the Coupled Podcast. They both have private practices where they work with individuals, couples, and families in Florida. The two are ready to shake up the world of couples therapy and want to extend resources beyond the couples they see in their private practices.
If you like this episode and want to know more about taking the next step to improve your communication, connection, and intimacy, head over to our websites to learn more about our Staying Coupled and Getting Coupled courses. These online courses give you the flexibility to improve your relationship from the comfort and convenience of your home. The Staying Coupled course is for couples who want to do the work to connect, communicate, and have the healthiest relationship possible. The Getting Coupled course is for premarital couples wanting to learn the essentials for a successful marriage. Topics in both courses include the main issues couples face:
For more information, visit drjennascott.com/courses or drnarijeter.com/courses
Disclaimer: This podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a licensed therapist in your state. Our relationship suggestions and content may not be applicable or advised for relationships with intimate partner violence (IPV). If you need resources, contact the National Domestic
