Source: https://www.queensjournal.ca/children-shouldnt-be-obligated-to-care-for-their-aging-parents-out-of-familial-responsibility/
Key Ideas and Facts:
- Challenging the Concept of Obligation: The central argument is that the care of aging parents should be a moral choice and a personal responsibility rooted in love, rather than a binding cultural or societal obligation. Liu distinguishes between obligation ("a binding duty, often legal, which implies some sort of necessity") and responsibility ("a general duty, which can be moral, social, or personal... encouraged or expected but isn’t mandatory").
- Critique of Filial Piety (Xiao): The author, despite having a Chinese background, questions the interpretation of the traditional Chinese concept of filial piety (Xiao) as a strict obligation. She notes that while Confucian culture emphasizes respecting and caring for elders, the foundational texts might align more with a moral responsibility rather than an enforced rule. She states, "This right way of behaving has been transformed and masqueraded as an ‘obligation’ by a lot of people in Chinese society."
- Influence of Western Individualism: The piece contrasts the perceived Eastern emphasis on obligatory familial care with Western cultures that generally operate under the idea of no such obligation, but rather a moral responsibility based on loving relationships. Liu highlights the Western view that since children do not choose to be born, there is no inherent obligation for them to care for aging parents. She suggests this perspective is more "civilized."
- Parental Obligations vs. Child's Choice: The author points out the existing legal obligation of parents to provide for their children's necessities, framing this as a true obligation. However, she argues that "taking care" of children involves love and guidance, which aligns with the definition of "responsibility" rather than "obligation" for the children towards their aging parents.
- Internal Motivation vs. External Pressure: Liu shares her personal experience of feeling a "pull towards my parents" when she went to university, emphasizing that this stemmed from a "moral duty I felt towards my loved ones" rather than cultural pressure. This personal anecdote supports her argument that care should be driven by affection, not enforced norms.
- Impact of Obligation on Young Caregivers: The author cites a statistic: "Approximately one in four Canadians aged 15 and older provide care to a family member with a long-term health condition or physical or mental disability." She argues that the cultural obligation shaming children into this role contributes to the significant number of young familial caregivers in Canada (7.8 million). This highlights the potential negative consequences of framing elder care as an unyielding duty.
- The Role of Love and Empathy: The piece concludes by emphasizing the emotional core of the debate, stating, "ultimately, logic alone doesn’t define human relationships—love does." This reinforces the idea that care should be an act of love and gratitude, a chosen responsibility driven by empathy.
