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Have you ever caught yourself saying "I should have done better" or "I shouldn't have eaten that"? These seemingly harmless words might be wreaking havoc on your mental health without you even realizing it.
In this illuminating mini-episode, we explore the hidden power of the word "should" and how it fuels our inner critic. When we're experiencing anxiety or stress, our physical symptoms often overshadow awareness of our thought patterns. That racing heart, tight chest, or churning stomach demands our attention while negative self-talk runs unchecked in the background.
Renowned psychologist Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, colorfully advised his clients to "stop shoulding all over yourself" when caught in these self-defeating thought loops. Why? Because "should" statements create an impossible comparison between our reality and an unattainable ideal, leading to shame, guilt, and increased anxiety. Even as a therapist, I catch myself falling into this trap – thinking I should have exercised earlier or shouldn't have eaten sugar before bedtime.
This week's challenge invites you to become more aware of your "should" statements and replace them with gentler alternatives. Instead of harsh self-judgment about past choices, try infusing humor and forward-thinking language: "That wasn't ideal, but next time I'll try something different." Consider enlisting a friend to help catch these statements in your everyday speech.
Ready to transform your inner dialogue? Listen now and learn how small shifts in your self-talk can lead to profound changes in how you feel. Your relationship with yourself deserves kinder language.
Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Wanna be a guest? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.
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