What happens when the affirmations you give to a child become the mirror that transforms how you see yourself? In this deeply personal episode, I unpack my journey from internalized racism to radical self-love, sparked by an unexpected source – a 19-month-old girl named Callie who I nannied.
Growing up in predominantly white Meadville, Pennsylvania, I never experienced outright racism, but something perhaps more insidious: the absence of celebration for my natural features. By my early twenties, I was getting hair relaxers every six weeks, chemically altering my appearance until my beautician finally refused to continue damaging my hair further. Still, I resisted fully embracing my natural self, hiding behind protective styles and clip-ins.
The transformation began when I started nannying Callie after moving to Atlanta. As I poured affirmations into this little girl – telling her how beautiful her natural hair and features were – something profound clicked: if these truths were undeniable for her, why couldn't they be true for me too? This realization coincided with facing racist comments on my early social media content, forced me to confront both external prejudice and my own internalized biases.
Through this journey, I discovered that what we often call "radicalization" is simply the recognition of our inherent worthiness. The standards that made me question my beauty weren't my burden to bear but society's problem to fix. There's nothing wrong with kinky, coily hair, wide noses, full lips – these are our natural gifts, not flaws to overcome.
What parts of yourself are you still hiding? What beauty within you is waiting to be affirmed? I hope my story inspires you to embrace every natural aspect of who you are.
