Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness means different things to different people. Generally, however, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.
The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.
Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
Forgiveness Health Benefits
Mayo Clinic
· Healthier relationships.
· Improved mental health.
· Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
· Lower blood pressure.
· Fewer symptoms of depression.
· A stronger immune system.
· Improved heart health.
· Improved self-esteem.
What are the effects of holding a grudge? (aka the dark side of forgiveness)
If you're unforgiving, you might:
· Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
· Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present
· Become depressed or anxious
· Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs
· Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others
What happens if I can't forgive someone?(Hang here for most of the show)
Forgiveness can be challenging, especially if the person who's hurt you doesn't admit wrong. If you find yourself stuck:
· Practice empathy. Try seeing the situation from the other person's point of view.
· Ask yourself why he or she would behave in such a way. Perhaps you would have reacted similarly if you faced the same situation.
· Reflect on times you've hurt others and on those who've forgiven you.
· Write in a journal, pray or use guided meditation — or talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.
· Be aware that forgiveness is a process, and even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven over and over again.
How do I reach a state of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a commitment to a personalized process of change. To move from suffering to forgiveness, you might:
· Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life
· Identify what needs healing and who needs to be forgiven and for what
· Consider joining a support group or seeing a counselor
· Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you and how they affect your behavior, and work to release them
· Choose to forgive the person who's offended you
· Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.
To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.
